Why an agreement helps
Verbal agreements are quickly forgotten or remembered differently. A written agreement creates clarity for everyone. Even more important is how you get there: when you negotiate rules together, your child understands why they make sense.
What belongs in the agreement
- Times: how long and when media is used
- Places: where screens are off-limits, such as at the dinner table or in bed
- Apps and games: what is allowed and how to request new ones
- Personal data: what isn't shared, such as your address or photos of others
- Costs: how to handle purchases and subscriptions
- Behavior: treating others kindly, not forwarding embarrassing content
- Help: who the child turns to when something goes wrong
- Consequences: what happens when rules are broken
- Parent rules: what parents commit to
Sample rules
| For the child | For the parents |
|---|---|
| I don't use my phone during meals. | We don't use our phones during meals either. |
| From 8 p.m. (20:00), my phone stays at the charging station. | We don't secretly read our child's messages. |
| I request new apps and say why I want them. | We respond to requests promptly and explain our decision. |
| I don't share photos of others without their permission. | We don't post photos of our child without their permission. |
| If something seems strange to me, I let you know. | We listen without immediately taking the phone away. |
Use a free template
The EU initiative klicksafe and Internet-ABC offer a free online tool at mediennutzungsvertrag.de (in German) with templates for children aged 6 to 12 and aged 12 and up. You can select, adapt and add rules and print the agreement as a PDF.
1. Sit down together
Plan a calm half hour without time pressure.
2. Choose rules
Start with a few important rules. You can always add more later.
3. Sign it
Everyone signs, including the parents.
4. Put it up where everyone can see it
For example on the fridge or next to the charging station.
5. Review it regularly
For example at the half-year mark or on a birthday.
Agreement and app together
Technology doesn't replace an agreement, but it can support it. You can set up the agreed times in Kydly as modes. The request feature fits a rule like “I request new apps and say why”.
Frequently asked questions
At what age does a media use agreement make sense?
As soon as your child regularly uses media independently. The template from klicksafe and Internet-ABC is available for ages 6 to 12 and for ages 12 and up.
Is a media use agreement legally binding?
No. It's a family agreement. Its value lies in agreeing on it together.
What should I do if the agreement is broken?
Stick to the agreed consequences and talk about why it happened. Maybe a rule needs to be adjusted.
Get to know Kydly
Try Kydly first with sample data in the demo, or download the app. The basic features for one parent and the first child are free.
Sources and further information
This guide is published by the provider of the Kydly app. It does not replace individual legal, medical or educational advice. Information about Kydly describes the app as of the date stated; the Privacy Policy, the Terms of Use and the terms Apple displays before purchase are binding. Legal documents (privacy policy, terms of use, legal notice) are available in German and English.